Clocks Go Back: Why Moms Feel Wrecked in the Dark Months (and 5 Gentle Ways to Cope)
/“Mommy, if it’s still dark, why do I have to be awake?” my 5-year-old asked me at 7:30 AM.
Good question. I was just thinking the same thing.
We’ve hit late October, and the days are getting shorter and grayer. The same arguments my kids used all summer to avoid sleep (“the sun is still up!”) are now being reversed to stay in bed (“the sun isn’t up yet!”). But unlike at 10 PM, when they’re fighting sleep, this time I agree with them. I’m feeling sluggish, cold, and short on energy too.
If you’re feeling the same way, more tired and more short-tempered, you’re not doing anything wrong. A change in both light and temperature at once can be draining, and the clock change this weekend is going to add to it. I don’t have a perfect solution (other than moving to a tropical country on the equator, which I dream about every year), but I wanted to share why you might be feeling this way and a few things that can help.
Why it feels so hard
Your body responds to light. Shorter days affect our sleep, making us tired earlier and making it harder to wake up. And I am 100% convinced that whoever invented Daylight Saving Time hated parents. Remember when “falling back” meant an extra hour of sleep? Now it means your kids wake up an hour “earlier” and are cranky while you try to get them back to their regular bedtime. Which, of course, leaves us cranky too.
The mental load rises in autumn. Here in Brussels, some schools are already on Toussaint break, which means changes to school routines, after-school activities, and daily schedules. If your family is like mine, with kids in different school systems, that’s a whole extra set of schedules to hold. So we have kids with disrupted routines, moms carrying more mental load, and less time outside and less movement, because activities move indoors and gray weather discourages outdoor play.
If any of this sounds familiar, none of it is a personal failure. Not for me (I’m reminding myself as I write this) and not for you. It’s a completely normal reaction to changes in your environment and your stress level.
5 gentle things that help
1. Start the morning with gentle movement. No, I’m not suggesting a 5 AM yoga class. As soon as you wake up, do a short stretch (you can stay in bed), or walk around the house with your baby instead of sitting down.
2. Create an evening wind-down ritual. Try a warm drink shared with your family, a forward fold to help bring your nervous system back into balance, or a few grounding breaths with your exhale longer than your inhale.
3. Notice the light. It won’t help on the grayest days, but when you can, take a moment to enjoy it. Stand by the window with your morning coffee, or notice the sunrise on your school run. Look out the window as you read this. The sun is still there.
4. Keep up your movement practice. A short walk on your own or with your kids, some stretching, or a few minutes of yoga is all you need. Maybe right now you can roll out your shoulders three times and stretch your arms overhead.
5. Stay connected. As an introvert, I totally get the urge to hibernate in the colder months. But stay connected to your community: a coffee meetup, a trip to the playground (bring a thermos of tea for the moms), or even just a voice note to a friend.
All of that said, if you’re feeling persistently low, anxious, or unable to cope, that deserves real support. Please reach out to your GP, midwife, or a mental health professional.
So what do I do at 7 AM when no one wants to get out of bed?
I treat myself and my family gently. I try to make mornings a bit smoother (more on that soon), look toward the light, and enjoy what the darker months bring: more time inside to connect with my family, a reminder to slow down, and more coffee.
If you’d like company, guidance, and gentle movement through these dark months, Embodied Motherhood Space is a low-cost place to start.