Matrescence Isn't Just for New Moms. Here's Why It Still Matters

Matrescence is the term used to describe the developmental stage of becoming a mother. Although it is something that EVERYONE becoming a mother goes through, it is often not discussed and many don’t learn the term till years into motherhood.  But don’t worry if that is you! A common misconception about Matresence is it’s only important to know about during pregnancy or the newborn period.  The truth is, matrescence isn’t a one time experience, but something that you may experience again and again across your lifetime. 

The major changes of early motherhood make matrescence easy to see, at least once someone highlights them.  The physical changes and of course the hormonal changes.  But the changes in your brain, your priorities and your sense of identity continue to evolve and shift throughout motherhood. And the sense of feeling like you are losing yourself in motherhood, that doesn’t just get a one time fix. 

The changes from a baby to a toddler are easy to see, but going from the mother of a newborn to a “toddler mom” also comes with profound shifts. You may have settled into the solitude that often comes with early motherhood, staying home and creating a nest for you and your baby. Having a mobile active toddler can change all that, and your sense of yourself within motherhood can feel very different when you are chasing a 2 year old down a busy street. 

Going back to work, or making the choice not to, also brings up these questions of identity, where do you exist inside and outside of motherhood? How do you find yourself in the overload of parenting one or more children, maintaining a career and nurturing other relationships? Returning to work you may find that your priorities have changed, or others view you differently than they did before you became a mom. Navigating these shifts, and maintaining yourself in the process, is all part of the matrescence journey. 

As your children become older and gain more independence you may again find yourself going through a matrescence. Your role of mother may mean something different to them, yourself and society. For many modern mothers this shift may be accompanied by their own menopause, 2 developmental stages crashing externally and internally. This could of course be the topic of an entire article, so I will pause here to say it is not uncommon to be balancing these 2 developmental stages, and the identity shifts that come with them, at the same time.  

Many moms experiencing these transitions think something is wrong with them, when the truth is it is actually a normal process that no one has named for them. As matrescence education has gained more popularity (yay!) we’ve begun to highlight the changes and challenges mothers experience in early motherhood. But the truth is these changes, especially the identity shifts and the sense of losing yourself in motherhood, continue on throughout motherhood.  And just like early motherhood moms deserve support. 

That support isn’t going to look the same as early postpartum support. This is less about physical recovery or someone doing your laundry while you nap (though that would still be amazing) but more about identity, nervous system regulation and managing relationships. Tricks and tools to help you continue to find yourself no matter what stage of motherhood you are in.  

If this is calling to you take a look at the upcoming workshop I am hosting all about restoring vitality in motherhood. Or set up a free insight call to tell me more about where you are on your motherhood journey and learn how I can help you reestablish your identity and find more balance in your life. You don’t need to be a new mom to need and deserve this support.